I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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