in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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