am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
