How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
