im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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