i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
