I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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