yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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