You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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