Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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