Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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