that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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