The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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