You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
