Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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