I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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