Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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