think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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