does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
