The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize