let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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