go do what you do best...puke behind churches
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
