weddingsv make me drug and hornr
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
