i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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