Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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