After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
