Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
