adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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