We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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