you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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