I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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