You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
