dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
