Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
