as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
