i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize