Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!

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  (617): Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them! http://tfl.nu/ih83
  Replies (5) Good night (674) Bad night (956)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I wish that would've worked

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  (870): This bar receipt from last night makes no sense (573): You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total (870): I wish that would've worked http://tfl.nu/u8a6
  Replies (24) Good night (3280) Bad night (649)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.

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  (972): I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that. http://tfl.nu/304s
  Replies (89) Good night (13907) Bad night (1160)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously i just wanna be friends

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  pass

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  (508): seriously i just wanna be friends (1-508): pass http://tfl.nu/b8w4
  Replies (39) Good night (1406) Bad night (5792)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.

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  (647): So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me. http://tfl.nu/qz95
  Replies (19) Good night (5380) Bad night (663)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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  (720): he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again http://tfl.nu/4hwy
  Replies (16) Good night (773) Bad night (7845)
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  (916): View more from California

  this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.

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  (916): this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her. http://tfl.nu/xmhd
  Replies (26) Good night (4896) Bad night (720)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad

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  (718): Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad http://tfl.nu/ofwb
  Replies (40) Good night (5871) Bad night (700)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

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  (702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls? (636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence http://tfl.nu/1u56
  Replies (32) Good night (8672) Bad night (921)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you thought your balls were fighting each other...

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  (815): you thought your balls were fighting each other... http://tfl.nu/ci9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4059) Bad night (1738)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.

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  (440): i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too. http://tfl.nu/6m2a
  Replies (15) Good night (1188) Bad night (2873)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.

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  (714): I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor. http://tfl.nu/i3nt
  Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (3332)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.

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  (603): he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained. http://tfl.nu/iy0m
  Replies (11) Good night (1784) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life

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  (956): Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life http://tfl.nu/cpkm
  Replies (13) Good night (2074) Bad night (604)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.

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  (325): I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible. http://tfl.nu/vgf8
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (1112)

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