You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone