I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!