I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..