Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
