is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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