i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize