You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dick very happy bro
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
