actually, I'm a sock model
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
