I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
