So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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