Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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