All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
