hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize