If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
