Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
