just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
