As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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