Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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