I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it was like eating out sand paper
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
