i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
