Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
