When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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