either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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