i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
