yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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