I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Houston, we have a squirter
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
NoShamevember. You game?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
