Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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