I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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